Kid Update

I went to watch Breanna's track meet yesterday.  As I sat there on the bleachers watching all these 7th and 8th grade boys and girls I was almost overcome with emotion thinking about how quickly she's growing up and that she's almost in high school!  I witnessed a girlfriend of hers (8th grader) with her boyfriends arms around her and in her pockets.  I could not believe it.  This is 8th GRADE, PEOPLE!  For the love of God!  If I saw a boy's hands on Breanna like that I would break both of his wrists.  Apparently a couple of Bree's friends have a boyfriend.  I DID NOT in 8th grade.  And the makeup some of these girls wear!?  It's Spirit Week at her school and yesterday was "Country Day".  She told me about a friend of hers (one of the girls with a boyfriend, I might add) was going to wear Daisy Dukes (with leggings underneath), cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat.  Okay, is anyone with me on this?  Am I being a prude?  I just don't want her to grow up too fast.  There will be plenty of time for boys and makeup.  

     So that song on the radio "Don't Trust Me"... have you heard it?  There's a line that says, "I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fu*%ing scared of him."  Well, they play the clean version on the radio, but the other day Gabe said to me, "Mom, I know what word they say there."  I asked him how he knew that.  "I just know", he said.  I asked him what they said and he told me he couldn't say it because it was bad.  So he spelled it- "F-U-C".  "Oh, what does that mean?" I asked him.  " I don't know, but sissy told me it's the worst word."  He's so lucky to have a teenage sister. =)

     My little man, Gavin is such a little parrot these days.  He will repeat ANYTHING.  Today as I was changing his diaper he said, "dow tuch, dow tuch" (don't touch).  I figured that was something he's learning from Aimee, his daycare provider.  Gabe asked him, "Gavin, what's that?"  (referring to his pee-pee) and Gavin replied, "dow tuch".  Great.  He thinks his penis is called "don't touch".  He hums the tune to "Dirty Little Secret".  It's Gabe's favorite song on Rock Band, so Gavin has it memorized.  He loves to play the drums.  

     When I put his food on his high chair tray he points to the drawer and says "fork".  He's learned "apple juice" although I don't think he's ever had it here.  So cute to hear him talk!  He thinks his sock and pants are called "sockson" and "pantson" because I say "let's put your socks on".  When he sees my coffee cup he says "hottee, hottee, hottee".  I ask him "what's Aimee's dog's name?" and he says "Beshie" (Bessie).  I can ask him who his friends are at daycare and he says "Sara", "Autin" (Austin), "Jack", "AIMEE!!"  He loves Aimee.  I hear my little Doodle waking up.  Gotta' go!

Holy crap... I was this girl

Proof positive that I am NOT a morning person.. let alone, morning exerciser.  This was me this morning at the gym.  Hurt my ego more than anything.  The guy beside me had to hit my emergency stop button because all I could think was, "get up, Shelly, get up, Shelly" as I hung on for dear life.  Thinking back, it was pretty funny.  Thank goodness it was 7am on a Saturday morning and there weren't too many people there.  

I.R.S B.S.

The Oregon Dept. of Revenue is attempting to withhold our childcare tax credit for our 2008 taxes.  They want verification of this and that to prove that we were both working throughout the entire to justify paying for childcare.  How do we prove that I was "working" from home while preparing to open our business?  How do I provide proof of the estimated $125,000 worth of duties that a stay at home mom's job is worth per year?  Chef, housekeeper, bookkeeper, babysitter, entertainer, educator, and all you moms know I could go on and on and on.  24/7 with no overtime pay.  Take Mom's Salary Test here to find out how much your mom job is worth.  Who do we complain to?  Is it worth it?  

I'll end here with a post of Grandma Wilson and her 5, count 'em, 5!!!! boys.  I've been learning more about her life lately and meeting some of my long lost 2nd and 3rd cousins from her side of the family through Facebook.  Lord only knows how much she would have earned taking care of those rascals.  And they were definitely rascals.  My daddy's the one on the left.

Bootius Laximus

Here's what the kids are learning these days:

You'd never know that Chuck and I are trainers based on our latest conversation with Breanna about her education.  The girl is in 8th grade, for the love of God!  

She asked the other day, "What's the real name for your butt muscles?"  

Me:  "Don't you learn that stuff in health class?!"  

Bree:  "Mom, we don't have health class."  

Me:  "What do you think it's called?"

Bree's response?  Wait for it....

With 100% seriousness she replied, "Bootius Laximus?"

Oh, I cramped up and doubled over at that one.  

We need to pitch that to Beyonce.  Some booties are a little more laximus than others, I suppose.  

Round boobs

Breanna told us a funny story the other day of something Gabe said to her.  A couple times a week she lets him sleep with her, which he loooooves.  So, this particular night, he got in bed and then she turned off the light and got into bed.  At this point, she pulled her bra out from under her shirt and threw it across the room.  Gabe asked, "what was that?"  Bree said, "nothing..."  To which Gabe replied, "was that the thing that makes your boobs round?"

Who is this little Jewish man?

The other night Chuck pulled into the driveway after work and came in the front door-only it wasn't him... it was a bald, little Jewish man with a lisp.  

As my brain tried to process what the hell was going on and figure out who this little man was standing in my kitchen, I remembered him telling me that he was going to a lecture at the church that night presented by a holocaust survivor.  It began to make sense.  He said, "Mr. Wiener, meet my wife, Shelly.  Shelly, this is Mr. Wiener."  As I shook his hand, this sense of complete...curiosity/gratitude/sadness came over me.  This man, who survived and lived to tell about the most horrific experience of his life, was in my kitchen.  

Chuck promptly ran upstairs to change his clothes, leaving me and the kids alone with this stranger, my new friend, Mr. Wiener.  I grilled him for as much info as I could over the course of the next 5 minutes.  I was struck by how youthful he looked for an 83 yr. old man.  His teeth were just perfect (which is usually one of the first things I notice about someone-I'm pretty sure they were real), his posture was like that of a 20-something's, and he was as sharp as a whip!  I wasn't able to make it to his lecture that night because I was putting the boys to bed, but Chuck thought it would be a good learning experience for Breanna to attend.  He gave me his business card and told me this was his 400th-ish speaking engagement.  He is one of a handful of remaining Holocaust survivors in Oregon.  He has authored a book titled, "From a Name to a Number" recounting his story.  That night I Googled him to read some more about him since I had to miss his lecture.  I have his book in my "wish list" with Swaptree.com.

This is a great new site I found where you can trade your old books for new ones!  You just pay for shipping.  You enter in the bar codes from the back of your books and you get a list of THOUSANDS of books you could request for a trade.  

Back to my story... Speaking of the Holocaust, if you haven't seen Life is Beautiful, oh.my.goodness.  You must!  It is just so wonderfully (for lack of a better word) BEAUTIFUL how this man, the main character (Roberto Benigni-remember he won the Oscar and jumped up on his chair?!) creates this amazing adventure for his son.  One of my ALL TIME faves.  

Nagging Women

There's a really funny Diet Coke (or Pepsi?) commercial on the radio right now.  It's a woman explaining how men may feel as though we are nagging or "know-it-all's".  She urges men to understand that it's really just us loving you so much that we want you to be the best you can be.  I was laughing out loud, all alone in my kitchen one day.  She goes on to say, "We care for you so much.... It's just us being unselfish with our knowledge of what you're doing wrong."  Oh my gosh, it took me a moment to compose myself.  Very, very clever.  And true. =)

Froot Loop necklace and Dr. Seuss

Gabriel made me this very nice Froot Loop necklace the other day at school.  He put a lot of elbow grease into it and only after I ate some of it did he tell me, "Uh, Mom...You're not gonna' want to eat those.  They've been all over the floor."  

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday, Gabriel made this super cute top hat at school.  I could see him on the bus as it was pulling up to the bus stop.  He was very proud of his hat and not the least bit ashamed to wear it all the way home.  He even shared it with Gavin.

Pink Underwear

Seems like overnight Breanna has become a different girl.  As I unload her clothes from the dryer I reach into the sea of colors:  hot pink, florescent orange, key lime, sunshine yellow- and that's just one pair of underwear!  Boy shorts.  I think she knows they are going to peek out when she sits down so she wants to make sure they're cute.  I make her do the "sit test" in the dressing room before I "o.k." a pair of jeans.  "Crack kills" as she would say.  

She wants to switch her elective from leadership to art.  Chuck and I feel it's very important for her to stay in leadership.  She has had many great opportunities as a result of this class and while art would be beneficial, we want her to stay put.  Is it up to us?  How much freedom should she have with her schedule?

  

Chuck took her to mass Ash Wed. morning and then dropped her off  at school with a big cross on her forehead.  She came home trying to convince me that she sweat it off in P.E.  

The girl eats like a horse.  Loves to eat.  Nonstop.  She's on an oatmeal kick lately.  Like twice a day- big bowl of oats with frozen blueberries and brown sugar.  

She wore leg warmers to school today.  Leg warmers with skinny jeans and slippers.  She's asking when she'll be allowed to wear make-up. 

I had to ask her yesterday to stay downstairs with us.  All of a sudden, when she gets home from school she goes straight to her room and stays there (reading the Twilight series).  She comes down for dinner and unless American Idol or 24 is on she goes back up for the rest of the night.  I told her we miss hanging out with her.   

She told me tonight that she and her best friend, Lyubov, want to get a job at Subway when they turn 14.  

I wonder every day if I'm doing everything I can to be sure she has good memories of growing up.  What type of person will she remember me as?  Supportive and happy or bitchy and exhausted?  

She doesn't realize that I play dumb more often than not so she can believe she's smarter than I am.  This way I can catch her more easily when she tries to get away with things.  I can read every facial expression she makes and I KNOW immediately when she's lying to me.  Usually her conscience gets the best of her and she confesses without me having to push.

She was 4 and a half years old when Chuck came on the scene and convinced me that I should not be friends with my kids.  I didn't quite get that at the time.  Now I can see where there should be a line drawn.  That's not to say that we aren't "friendly" with them, just that we (and they) understand our role is as parents. 

She is a wonderful girl, daughter, big sister.  She relishes her role as "sis".  It's just amazing to watch her love for her brothers.  Genuine, pure love.  

I'm such a proud mama.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Gabriel asked me today, very casually while eating lunch, "Mom, why do people's hearts stop beating?"  Rather than blurt out the first thing that came to my mind, "Because everyone has to die at some point", I took a moment to form my response in my head.  "Probably because God needed them in Heaven."  "Why?" was of course, the next obvious question.  "I don't know", I said (which I realize I'm using way too often lately which makes him usually defer to Chuck for the answer).  "Maybe because he needs a new angel."  He pondered that for a moment, then between bites of his egg burrito said, "I hope I go to Heaven."  "You will,"  I assured him.  "Do you know how I know you'll go to Heaven?"  I asked him.  "How?" he asked.   "Because you were baptized,"  I said.  A grin came across his face, then a split second later dissipated when he realized he'd thought of something.  "But you're not," he said.   "Yes I am.  Remember when I was baptized at BCC? (Beaverton Christian Church)"  "Oh yeah, " he replied,  "Just not in the Catholic church."

     Gabe takes being Catholic very seriously.  He prays the Rosary with Chuck at bedtime and goes to mass occasionally.   He has many gifts that were given to him when he was baptized such as his cute, very colorful fat-beaded rosary from Tom and Kayleen, lots of children's bible stories, etc...  And oh, his dinnertime prayers are so sweet!  "And God, we thank you for this wonderful dinner inspired by Mommy.  And for all the people who are hungry and cold, we hope they have food and warmth.  And that's all I want to say.  In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen."

Fox Channel 12

So we ditched Dish Network and now only get local channels.  Totally fine by us- the only one who's really ticked is Gabe because we're cut off from SpongeBob.  He's learning to color and play ball instead like 6 year old boys should.  

We get the important stuff like '24' and 'American Idol'.  

Gavin's new word is "miiiiiiiiiiiine".  Imagine this in a cute 17 month old squealing voice while hugging object tightly to his body and running away.  All of a sudden it's not so cute.  We're learning "share" in sign language.  

Mama Milk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzEKVcwx6a4

WARNING:  Do not watch if you object to breastfeeding!  Obviously I'm in love with breastfeeding my baby so I thought this was absolutely beautiful.  If you are reading my blog and you object, please DON'T READ MY BLOG!!!!

Sunday school and margaritas

Once a month I volunteer in Gabe's Sunday school classroom at my church.  Today was my turn, but Gabe decided to go to Costco with Chuck instead.  So I sat and had a picnic with Isabella and Matthew (one of my favorite-not supposed to have a favorite, I know-little boys there).  I asked Matthew if he could make me some chamomile tea, to which he replied, "Hmm, camel milk?  Let me see if I have any camel milk."  Isabella told me her favorite foods to eat for breakfast are gummy fruit snacks and sausage.  From the mouths of babes...

Just so you know, "The Reader," not so great.  I was really disappointed.  Sure, Kate Winslet won the Golden Globe for best actress, but quite possibly it's because she was nude through pretty much the whole thing.  Yeah, she's an awesome actress, but I could've written a better screenplay.  Thanks to Tori and Carlie for supplying the awesome margaritas and tacos!

I Love Wednesdays

Wednesdays and Fridays are pajama days around here.  I stay home with Gavin, drink LOTS of coffee and we play and do laundry.  Today I got up pretty early and made banana hazelnut pancakes.  Yumm!!  Fridays used to be "Pampake" day for Gabe and me when he was in preschool and nowadays we just don't have time in the morning to make a hot breakfast.  Chuck will usually make about a dozen eggs in the morning and we all just eat a little bit as we wake up.  Gabe and Gavin love eggs.  

On a different note, I think Gavin is getting ready to start the potty training process.  He recognizes when he's about to poop.  He pauses whatever he's doing and looks at me and says, "Aw, maaaaaaan."  Then Gabe will say, "I think we have a stinker!"  My sweet boys.  

Brrr...

As I sit here with my fingers frozen to the bone I 'm searching for sunny, summertime pics to warm me up. Here are a few of our summer at the beach. This was Gavin's first time and yes, he wanted to eat the sand

YES WE ARE!

The greatest country in the world!  

What an amazing feeling- to be hopeful again.

Through my tears of joy, I couldn't help but notice over the course

 of the past few months, a slight resemblance between the (would you

call them the "Second Family"?) V.P. and wife to a certain

couple in my family...

Judge for yourself-

Vice President Joe Biden and his wife, Jill.

My dad, Mike Leonard, and his wife, Debbie.

My new 'do

Here it is-my new cut.  I went shorter than usual in the back.  Going for the asymmetrical bob.  I go back and forth between wanting to grow it out and keeping it short.  Short is just so easy.  Anyway, gotta' go-  I have a date with Jack Bauer.

Today's list

Things I'm loving right now:

• Nerf- because when I'm sitting on the floor putting my shoes on and Gavin runs up to me to throw a ball at my head it doesn't hurt.
• Seneca Crispy Apple Chips- "Yumm-o!" (to quote one of my favorite foodies-Rachael Ray).  You must try the Gingerbread and the Cinnamon flavor.  Supposedly healthier for you than regular chips, but still a lot of fat. 
• my new haircut- I think Gennie got it right.  pics coming soon...
• Jack Bauer- 24 returns tomorrow night!  Then American Idol next week.  OMG, life as I know it is over.  My nights will no longer be mine.  

Florrrrri, come back!

Flori, Florrrrri, RRRR- roll your tongue, "rrrrrrr". Like on the movie Spanglish, remember Flor? Flori graced us with her presence for 2 glorious, magical Saturdays. She and her daughter, Heidi, worked together for hours to make my house sparkle. They moved all the kitchen appliances, scrubbed the showers, even cleaned the window ledges. For a brief moment we breathed a sigh of relief. Having them come in to do a deep clean every other week made it easier for us to keep up with the day to day messiness. Then we realized it didn't make sense. We were cancelling cable, Netflix, newspaper subscription, frequent Starbucks excursions(GASP!), and fancy cheeses at the grocery store but we were paying for a housekeeper. We justified it by reasoning that the time they saved us in cleaning opened up more time for us to focus on the business. It was fabulous. Fabulous but unrealistic. My toilet hasn't been scrubbed ever since. =(

Puke!

Ugh, puke! The big stainless steel mixing bowl has been become a fixture next to the couch as we take turns laying here in agony just hoping that we will soon puke our guts out and feel better. Yesterday was my turn. It hit around 3pm. At first I thought I was just shaky and nauseaous because I'd had too much coffee. Chuck took all the kids to the studio so I could get some work done but all I could think was, "You better go lay down now while you can before they get home." Did I? Of course not. Too much to do. Eventually I made my way over and hoped it would pass. When the kids kicked me off the couch a couple hours later to play "Scene It" (b-day present from Steph- Thanks!) I drug myself (and my trusty bowl) upstairs looking forward to my comfy bed. Then it came- that wave of nausea accompanied by the feeling of your entire body breaking out in a cold sweat. To the toilet! Couldn't decide whether I needed to sit on or hug the bowl. You catch my drift... Without too much graphic detail, suffice it to say, thank goodness for my bowl because my body decided to expel as many different bodily fluids as it could all at once. "Will my husband still respect me if I yell for him to come wipe my butt?" was all I could think in my pitiful state. Since I couldn't muster up the energy to call for him I decided to give it a go. I cleaned myself up, made my way back to bed and summond for him the only way I could think of- by stomping on the floor and hoping that would get his attention. He rushed upstairs to see what all the hub-bub was about. I let him know he'd need to dump out my puke bowl (rinse very well to eliminate any residuals, please) and restock the t.p.
The good news is Iwas in bed very early and got a good night's sleep, with bowl by my side. I haven't needed it since. All I could bring myself to eat today was a piece of toast with pumpkin butter because I'm too afraid to eat anymore, although I'm starving!