Bootius Laximus

Here's what the kids are learning these days:

You'd never know that Chuck and I are trainers based on our latest conversation with Breanna about her education.  The girl is in 8th grade, for the love of God!  

She asked the other day, "What's the real name for your butt muscles?"  

Me:  "Don't you learn that stuff in health class?!"  

Bree:  "Mom, we don't have health class."  

Me:  "What do you think it's called?"

Bree's response?  Wait for it....

With 100% seriousness she replied, "Bootius Laximus?"

Oh, I cramped up and doubled over at that one.  

We need to pitch that to Beyonce.  Some booties are a little more laximus than others, I suppose.  

Round boobs

Breanna told us a funny story the other day of something Gabe said to her.  A couple times a week she lets him sleep with her, which he loooooves.  So, this particular night, he got in bed and then she turned off the light and got into bed.  At this point, she pulled her bra out from under her shirt and threw it across the room.  Gabe asked, "what was that?"  Bree said, "nothing..."  To which Gabe replied, "was that the thing that makes your boobs round?"

Who is this little Jewish man?

The other night Chuck pulled into the driveway after work and came in the front door-only it wasn't him... it was a bald, little Jewish man with a lisp.  

As my brain tried to process what the hell was going on and figure out who this little man was standing in my kitchen, I remembered him telling me that he was going to a lecture at the church that night presented by a holocaust survivor.  It began to make sense.  He said, "Mr. Wiener, meet my wife, Shelly.  Shelly, this is Mr. Wiener."  As I shook his hand, this sense of complete...curiosity/gratitude/sadness came over me.  This man, who survived and lived to tell about the most horrific experience of his life, was in my kitchen.  

Chuck promptly ran upstairs to change his clothes, leaving me and the kids alone with this stranger, my new friend, Mr. Wiener.  I grilled him for as much info as I could over the course of the next 5 minutes.  I was struck by how youthful he looked for an 83 yr. old man.  His teeth were just perfect (which is usually one of the first things I notice about someone-I'm pretty sure they were real), his posture was like that of a 20-something's, and he was as sharp as a whip!  I wasn't able to make it to his lecture that night because I was putting the boys to bed, but Chuck thought it would be a good learning experience for Breanna to attend.  He gave me his business card and told me this was his 400th-ish speaking engagement.  He is one of a handful of remaining Holocaust survivors in Oregon.  He has authored a book titled, "From a Name to a Number" recounting his story.  That night I Googled him to read some more about him since I had to miss his lecture.  I have his book in my "wish list" with Swaptree.com.

This is a great new site I found where you can trade your old books for new ones!  You just pay for shipping.  You enter in the bar codes from the back of your books and you get a list of THOUSANDS of books you could request for a trade.  

Back to my story... Speaking of the Holocaust, if you haven't seen Life is Beautiful, oh.my.goodness.  You must!  It is just so wonderfully (for lack of a better word) BEAUTIFUL how this man, the main character (Roberto Benigni-remember he won the Oscar and jumped up on his chair?!) creates this amazing adventure for his son.  One of my ALL TIME faves.  

Nagging Women

There's a really funny Diet Coke (or Pepsi?) commercial on the radio right now.  It's a woman explaining how men may feel as though we are nagging or "know-it-all's".  She urges men to understand that it's really just us loving you so much that we want you to be the best you can be.  I was laughing out loud, all alone in my kitchen one day.  She goes on to say, "We care for you so much.... It's just us being unselfish with our knowledge of what you're doing wrong."  Oh my gosh, it took me a moment to compose myself.  Very, very clever.  And true. =)

Froot Loop necklace and Dr. Seuss

Gabriel made me this very nice Froot Loop necklace the other day at school.  He put a lot of elbow grease into it and only after I ate some of it did he tell me, "Uh, Mom...You're not gonna' want to eat those.  They've been all over the floor."  

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday, Gabriel made this super cute top hat at school.  I could see him on the bus as it was pulling up to the bus stop.  He was very proud of his hat and not the least bit ashamed to wear it all the way home.  He even shared it with Gavin.